an exercise in self-indulgence

Are you morally troublesome? Well, I'm not, but I've written you a story to help you feel at home.

Once upon a time, there was a vindictive little princess who lived happily ever after.

THE END

The morals of the story are: when life hands you lemons, squeeze them for juice to rub in the wounds of your enemies.

and

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» Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sweet jesus, y'all. I'm 30.

» Friday, July 14, 2006

I suggested to my vulgar and irreverant coworker Chris that he name his upcoming baby "Live Nude Girls."

He laughed very hard and said,"You're our own little Sarah Silverman, but less funny."

I smiled and casually indicated a very sharp set of pliers I keep on my desk.

"I mean more funny."