From Sir Lillian: "Now, what are the *real* answers to your questions?"
1. "If we were made of cellophane, we'd all get stinking drunk much faster."
2. Episcopalian overnight camp — Pascoag, Rhode Island, 1990. Yes, I said Episcopalian.
3. Lookit.
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» Wednesday, April 28, 2004
From Sir Lillian: "Now, what are the *real* answers to your questions?" 1. "If we were made of cellophane, we'd all get stinking drunk much faster." 2. Episcopalian overnight camp — Pascoag, Rhode Island, 1990. Yes, I said Episcopalian. 3. Lookit.
» Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Three Answers by Sir Lillian, knight of the Disproportionately Ugly Table, Three Questions by Me 1. Mass psychosis was the diagnosis, so we all cashed our checks and went wild. If the Squirrel Nut Zippers ran rampant through the streets with a sudden outbreak of Mad Brain Sprue, how would they describe it? 2. Guam, Idaho. The Pope was there, goat-sitting for me, and when I returned I was surprised (though why I was surprised I still don't know) to find that JP had dressed all of my goats in lace and had taken to calling them his Altered Boys. Where was your first kiss? 3. I think that it involved paper airplanes, round tables, and a Harrison Fjord impersonator named 'Hans'. I'll have to consult my notes to get all of the details in order. What were the circumstances of your first kiss?
» Monday, April 19, 2004
Three Awesome Questions by Lauren, Three Answers by Me 1. If you had to pick one Olsen twin, would it be Ashley or Mary-Kate? You neglect to specify what I would be choosing her for. It all depends on whether I'm using her as a drying rack or my personal shopper or a roadie or what have you. No, I'm just funning. It's six of one, half a dozen of the other. I can't tell those little monkeys apart. 2. If you had to choose between remaining celibate for the rest of your life or being able to have sex but only to Spice Girls music, which would you choose? L. Boogie, you have seen me shake it* spastically to lesser musicians than the Spice Girls. You have seen me make pop star hands while singing "Don't Let Me Get Me." You have seen me show public appreciation of Ace of Base. As Scary Spice once said,"Zigguh ziggaah." 3. If Ewan Macgregor asked you out would you refuse him under the principle that you could never date someone that your friend is in love with? Or would you say yes? In this specific case, I would surely say no. A dear friend of mine, not naming any names, has a long-burning ardor for "Sweet Teef" Macgregor. I would sooner die of a glamorous wasting disease than get in the way. However, I don't think a person should make sacrifices of the heart for people who wouldn't do the same. I would never knowingly betray the trust of a true friend, and I am loyal to those who are loyal to me. I'd like to believe I can tell which of my acquaintances genuinely care. As it has been said, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. * I mean DANCE, dirtyheads.
» Friday, April 16, 2004
Three Very Long Questions by Andy S, edited out of concern for you all (sorry Andy), Three Answers by Me 1. You could be either A) the world's best ninja (or similar silent mercenary-type), or B) the best-in-the-world at any instrument. For the purposes of this inquiry, we are assuming the choices to be mutually exclusive. Which would you be, and why? I wrote a limerick in February about a ninja who lost his passion:
There once was a ninja named Hawk, That being said, I choose option B. I would be a master of guitar, since the life of a ninja only can end in desperation. 2. When you become a multi-millionaire, where will the secret passageways in your mansion lead? A lovely, lovely garden with trees and flowers and a sickly English boy. 3. If you had to give up your name in favor of a numbering system, what would your number be? Each person is allowed to choose their own number, of any length, in any form. If you so desire, you can opt out of the numbering system, by way of imprisonment or other such stigma. 718. It's my birthday, and gives me a happy feeling. It's also the area code for four boroughs of New York City, and who doesn't love New York City? I am very fond of my name, but it's not worth serving hard time.
» Friday, April 16, 2004
Three Questions by Kirk, Three Answers by Me 1. Can you share a good story idea? Oh, totally! It's like, the future, and the government decides everyone should be completely equal. And since they can't improve the people with natural deficiencies, they hinder everyone to meet the lowest common denominator. Ballerinas wear leg weights to cripple their grace and masks to hide their beauty. And geniuses, like the protagonist, are struck by mind-scrambling gongs at regular intervals — the smarter the genius, the smaller the interval. But our hero rebels, with sexy results!* But you can't use that story idea, because Kurt Vonnegut already wrote "Harrison Bergeron" and it kicked ass. And no, I can't share one of mine, because I don't have as many good ideas as Kurt Vonnegut, and he was *still* poor until he was middle-aged. I have to hoard the few I have. 2. What do you suppose your purpose in life is? I'm still working on that. I think... well... In college, there were some black days, let me tell you. There were weeks when I barely made it out of bed. I didn't bother questioning my purpose; It was enough to remember to eat every day. Maybe it was post-adolescent angst. Maybe there was something terribly wrong with me. (I think there was something terribly wrong with me.) But if I ever thought of ending it all, or running off anonymously to Nebraska -- and I wish I could say I didn't -- I never got very far, because I love my mommy. She's the trampoline that mysteriously appears under every window from which I might leap. I think the greatest honor I could hope to achieve is to be the lifeboat if someone I love ever stands on the deck of a sinking ship. Oh, and I want to be the super funnest guest at parties.
3. When are you coming back to Boston???
If you mean a visit, I swear I'll come back for a weekend sometime this spring, come hell or high water. If you mean when am I coming back to live, your guess is as good as mine, my friend. * Thank you, Homer Simpson.
» Thursday, April 15, 2004
Three Questions by Ranjit, Three Answers by Me 1. If you had a secret compartment, what would you keep in it? I think, depending on the size, a secret compartment would be a good place to keep my horribly deformed, malevolent twin sister. She could bang on the walls sometimes and frighten away guests who've overstayed their welcome. It would need to be big enough for her to stretch out and lumber around. Barring that, a secret compartment would be a good place to keep love letters or lucky trinkets or fancy chocolates. 2. What would the best neighborhood in the world (for living in) be like? A lot like yours. But with a good Ethiopian restaurant. And a few cool dress shops. And that wonderful yarn store. 3. What book do you most want to read that you have never gotten around to? The Street of Crocodiles by Bruno Schultz. I've had it on my bookshelf since I was 20, and I give it a halfhearted try every couple years, to no avail. I just can't get into it. But SOMEDAY.
» Thursday, April 15, 2004
Three Questions by Dan, Three Answers by Me 1. Do you believe in fairies? When we were kids, my brother had a "no fairies" sticker on his Vision Gator board. Looking back, I don't think they were talking about wood sprites. But what did we know? It was the '80s. We couldn't spell homosexuality. We kids all called each other queer while listening enthusiastically to the gayest-looking bands in the history of the world. I get it now, though. I'd punch that sticker in the face. Anyone can skateboard with me anytime. But you weren't talking about that. Uh, no. I don't believe in fairies. 2. What is your first memory? Evidence suggests I have hazy memories of my second birthday. But my first really clear memory is of my parents' honeymoon, two months short of my third birthday. They took Andy and me along, 'cause they're cool. We stayed at a lodge at Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I best remember the non-slip blue flowers in the bathroom, and the amazing Holly Hobby Colorforms (complete with mind-blowing two foot Holly Hobby cardboard house) my dad got me to keep me amused. 3. Will you marry me? I always dreamed I'd marry a wealthy man*!!!!! *Dan, while filthy rich in charm and compassion, is not rolling in the green. Also, I never dreamed I'd marry a wealthy man. I did once dream that I married Peter from the Monkees, but that's another story.
» Wednesday, April 14, 2004
This is making the rounds on the interweb. I fulfill my duty by copying it here: "I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions — no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this, allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything." Email your questions to brooke@photogratify.com; I'll post your questions and my answers, so long as they're not pornographic. Or somehow encourage me to confess to that hobo murder. Um, what? Hobo? *nervous laughter* |
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